“through the act of living, the discovery of oneself is made concurrently with the discovery of the world around us. . ."

Friday, September 10, 2010

The Fundamentals

It was nearly midnight when the telephone rang. It was an old friend at the other end. “Did I wake you up? Sorry, I had to call you”. “It’s OK, I had just hit the hay”. “Er- Balan, um…you know, my mother loves flowers”, he paused. “She gets up early in the mornings and with a towel wrapped around her neck and a flashlight in hand, she goes to the garden and picks flowers, wet with dew”. What the hell, I wonder, waking me up in this unholy hour to tell me about his mother? “ Er .. Uh…Um… see, she passed away last week”. Shocked, I mumble sorry I was ill I didn’t know.

“I want you to do me a favour. Could you ask Parvati to make a list of plants or trees that flower all around the year? And get the saplings? For me? See, I thought I could plant them around her grave and – you know how she loves flowers! Every morning I could go there and see all the flowers lying over her and then I will clear them and – she loves flowers so much!”

Lying on the bed, head propped up with pillows, I ponder about love. I realize that all the maudlin sentiments about love are so true. I ponder about love and the opportunities I had missed to express my love - to my parents, wife, son, relatives, friends, acquaintances, animals, nature – all those who have passed through my life. I think with sadness, of those who deny themselves the need to love and be loved. I realize that there cannot be anything in the world, living or non-living, which cannot be loved. I pull the sheet over my head and go to sleep.

One should sit down once in a while and look over at the fundamentals.

******* Balachandran V, Bangalore, 09.09.2010


  1. I've no words to describe the feelings this post evoke.

  2. sad we dont ponder over fundamentals when we are young and have all our lives before us. but it's never too late.

  3. I have deep rooted feelings about this subject; you have penned it well balan. My daddy used to say," give me flowers while I live, not when I am gone." It brings back memories of many things... So many times, we do not give to those we love. You have indeed touched a nerve...

  4. I see the fundamentals this way-
    there need not be any dearth for love if you can see it:
    ;and love can be an effective substitute for hate,but not in the face of insolence;and most of all begging for love increases beggary.

  5. @Anil: In certain circumstances, I agree with your opinion; but no, one does not beg for love, one gives it without restraint and it flows back in our way. No one, even A Hitler, could have been insensitive to love. And love is not a substitute for anything. Even if the other person or object is unable to love you bak, that cannot stop us from loving it.

    I LOVE my bike, though I don't think it can love me back! :D

    I LOVE Sancho, and he returns it 100 times more!

  6. Sir
    Really interesting and thought provoking post. Wishing you a very nice day

  7. Dey Bals,
    Loving things animate and that are inanimate are much different.Sancho has been provided a quality by nature to notice, understand , reciprocate and enjoy the affection and love you express. The characteristic that stands apart in canines is that they love you irrespective of what you give them.
    Hitler loved only himself and no one. That was amply written, proved documented and also by his many actions. A megalomaniac like him cannot see the love of a fellow being and let alone reciprocate.He could only love self.There are many of the kind all the while.
    As for begging for love. Well there are ample instances of people who have done that and do that.Some literally beg for love which they must not in the first place expect from the tribe they look up to.
    And as for giving love I do not subscribe literally to the wisdom attributed to Christ or Buddha - ie show your left cheek if someone smite your right.In the face of insolence, love is not what has to be used , but courage, to stand up to the audacity.
    And if someone fails to notice your love it is he who is at misery.
    Well the debate will go on...... so goodbye.

  8. I could weep...

    Most often, we take things for granted and only when our loved ones are not around do we realize how much they meant to us, how much we love them and yearn for their tender touch and then, regret the times we thought we were too busy to spend time with them!

    If we could all take some time off, and find quality time for our loved ones to bring cheer to their lives, life would be happier don't you think?!

  9. Its usually too late when we ponder..

  10. I have no words. Most times, we realize when its late. We must ponder over things as these. Better late than never


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