How do I describe myself?
Is it my biodata, my curriculum vitae
Or the sum of the scraps
These verses and stories I write about myself?
Do you, reader, see me in lines like these?
The corpus of my writings
Friend, do you, in this corpus before you?
I ask you, woman of my life
This man, who shared your bed and love
Pray, tell me who I am.
I am looking askance at my son
My dogs, my fish, birds of the air
Tell me what I am, lay me at rest.
Am I just a grain of sand
Born of nothing
Destined for nothing?
As I turn my back
To you, to the world
What would you say who I were –
Would you just shrug and smirk?
It is not what you think I am
That bothers me
But not knowing who I am
Not knowing my place, if at all
I have any, not knowing if I exist?
While you collect your thoughts
Allow me to sit here
Collecting, picking, sniffing at words.
********* Balachandran V,