Peering at the TV through the haze of sedatives, I watch happy people enjoying an ocean cruise. In the ports they visit in the
As the effect of the sedative wanes, I sense the familiar pain creeping up, growing. Sedatives dull physical pain and to some extent dull the mind too. But back in my mind, I am still acutely aware of the series of misfortunes that I have been experiencing in the last one year or so. Financial, health, family problems have been pouring in. In addition, K, who had been with us for the last 18 years has left for college in
Even when K was a little boy, I was in favour of sending him to a boarding school; not that I didn’t want him with us, but I wanted him to be self-reliant as early as possible. But then, K being a single child, P was vehemently against sending him to JK’s
Two weeks into his absence, P and I feel it so badly. Even Sancho, now that Tommy is no more, had found a playmate in K for the roughhouse games he loved. All that barking and running and jumping and nipping and the excitement of playing. I am a bit too old and find Sancho’s energy too much for me. But with K around, Sancho did not seem to miss Tommy much. Now, Sancho lies gloomily beside my feet. He is not even interested in his favourite dog biscuits.
I fervently hope I will get back to the past, normal life. There are many things to do. Like disposing our old house and moving to a quieter, cooler place. My peculiar health condition demands cooler climes. And what would be better than
K, at 18, now doing his undergraduate course in Psychology at
I sit alone in this empty nest. My son is flapping his wings as strength flows into his limbs for a takeoff. P has very clear plans for her future. I wouldn’t really mind if they do not include me. Quite likely I would be a hindrance.
For me, white, fluffy clouds move up in the sky. Sky, that can darken or brighten up into a deep blue at its whim. Sky, that can open up or close down. Sky, as vast and unending as life…