I have been getting up rather early these days; it follows early to
bed. The dreariness of my job wears me out and unlike the old days
when I could sit up late night, I now go to sleep by 2100 hrs, wakes
up at around 0300 hrs, try to sleep again and doze off after half an
hour or so. Mind in turmoil, wringing the thought of taking VRS, the
pros and cons, the foolishness or brilliance of the decision to
change the course of my life. At 0600, I straddle my bicycle and with
the camera in the basket, I roam the town, pedaling slowly and then
come to this temple tank near the Tirumala temple.
It is quiet here. A heron, stalking in the shrubs, skulks away. A
Little Cormorant, sedately swimming is annoyed and streaks across
the water and flies away. A few feet from where I stand, a Mongoose
scuttle across and at a safe distance, pauses and looks back at me
before diving into the bushes. A smart dog runs up, smells me
curiously in a friendly way, thinks twice before marking my bicycle
with his pee and trot away as if to attend to some urgent business. I
click. In the warmth that breaks sweat from my body, I sit quietly.
Far away, I can hear the traffic on the highway. Two pretty
teenagers, so lovably conscious of their beauty, pass by, probably
for a morning private tuition.
I could live like this, in a daze, till I die - or take my future
into my hands and chart a course into unknown territories. Some might
say I am too old to launch new adventures, but in howmuchsoever
life is left for me, I would like to wake up every morning, not
dreading the dreariness of predictable, dull routine, but to days,
each different and fresh, finally loving every moment of my life,
everything I do.
******* Balachandran V. Alleppey, 18.10.2012
I am in a way thrilled to find this click from you..Such a view..And it really exists in Alleppey ? Then,suddenly it came to my mind,how many of such beautiful serene sights one could have MISSED in life.? There is all possibility..It's your outlook and perhaps the special faculty you possess might have brought it here.Yet I enjoy the unseen..What an exclusive beauty is life in fact ! Balachandran,it's life itself. Isn't it ? Our views,paths,thinking pattern...There is nothing so bad and good..Some we are lucky to explore.And that has got nothing to do with age.I was discussing something very interesting with my little one.In between we got struck with the 'age factor'.For what I commented "Age is simply relative",she demanded an explanation of this "relative" thing...You know Balachandran..however we unwrap it,finally It's simply a beauty called life.Nothing less and more.Rest all we fabricate;for convenience.
ReplyDeleteFor people like me,leading a life of Balachandran seems precious..for the simplicity and genuinity..And yes,the RAW in you is exotic..Irresistible !
I hope you crossover from this turmoil soon and reach the tranquility of a decision made. The picture is beautiful, I can imagine how beautiful the place would be. Made my morning serene :)
ReplyDelete@Melange: " Then,suddenly it came to my mind,how many of such beautiful serene sights one could have MISSED in life.?"
ReplyDeleteExactly. We take our familiar surroundings for granted; we are blind to it. When there is an abundance of beauty around, we'd still pine to go to America or Singapore! Perhaps it depends on the taste, but I know from many instances that this ignorance can be removed if one is taught how to be aware and observant.
"however we unwrap it,finally It's simply a beauty called life.Nothing less and more.Rest all we fabricate;for convenience." I cannot put it better, M!
@Sujata: Yes, it is a tough decision, but I have made it, to take VRS. Only when, remains to be decided!
ReplyDeleteGlad you liked the photo. Yes, the real is much more beautiful. Wish I had a wide angle lens.
And thanks, S, for the wishes. :-)
IT is lucky that one is resistless to another, and when old age or over the hill phase is putting one refrain. Makes one pumped up !
ReplyDeletePerhaps, or is it not perhaps , say matter of fact you fret a lot when a dispassionate thought would let you realise that what you dream is not mirage but a tad away from your grasp and all that you have to is stretch your hand.
Its in these everyday scenes and moment one finds solace. How many would mull by the tank like you Balan? To give an afterthought to the dog who peed instead of cursing it? :)
ReplyDeleteWhile taking decisions; keep as very few variables as possible; strike off the unimportant ones. Its worked for me in difficult times. Oh! I know you have seen more in life than me; but a couple of tough decisions I need to take - this is what I did :)
And at the end of it all; I am sure you will be happy with whatever you have chosen
Insignia: Thanks for the tip, B! :-)
ReplyDeleteStrike off the unimportant - I will remember that!
@AniL: Listening to my request for transfer, a patronizing, pompous official of the Association said - Look here Balachandran, there are only two kinds of people in the world - the lucky and the unlucky ( Bhagyvanmarum Bhagyadoshikalum). So, Anil, that somebody should admire me or my writing or find me irresistible makes me lucky, as you said. But I, unlike you, don't get pumped up. I accept the compliments with all humility.
ReplyDeleteAnd like I told you, I am not fretting, I am just considering, evaluating. Guess I have the right, the freedom to deliberate on my future.