“through the act of living, the discovery of oneself is made concurrently with the discovery of the world around us. . ."

Thursday, April 19, 2012

The Family Man

 Nearly three weeks since I posted anything in my blog. The relentlessly cruel Alleppey and the scorching summer months sap my energy. Hectic work schedule in the Bank due to Annual Closing was another reason. And then during the Easter holidays ( 3 days) I had to join P’s family gathering at Munnar.

I am hardly the family man. Relationship among my siblings was never what it should be. Especially after we grew up and each raised his/her own families, the times when the five of us meet would be on occasions such as a death or marriage in the family. There is not much affection lost amongst us. Each of us is to be blamed for the distancing, for the estrangement.

On the other hand, P’s family (5 siblings) along with their cousins and whatnots have always been quite thick. It was a culture shock to me at the time of my marriage; things haven’t changed much in the last 22 years. Of course, I like most of them, is friendly with her brothers and sister, but having been brought up in an entirely different familial network, I feel a bit odd among P’s people.

It has been P’s complaint that I have neglected this part of my duty as a husband; true. So, this time, instead of going home to Trivandrum and Sancho, I went to Munnar, the hill station. We stayed in a cottage that we had rented out in full. The cottage with 5 bedrooms was away from the hustle and bustle of the town. It overlooked a valley; some may find the tea estate view beautiful. But it was pleasantly different and I made P happy. K too had joined us from Bangalore. Since all of us have been to Munnar umpteen times, the entire group stayed at the cottage for the two and half days spent there. The ladies went to town once for shopping. 

The dutiful eldest brother-in-law ( Jeezuz, I am the oldest in that branch!) was all pleasant and benign and courteous and polite  and friendly with K’s cousins and tolerated all of them and got off. It is not that easy for me to play the family man.

In the morning chill, K and I went out for walks. It has been a long time since the two of us were together in a natural landscape. We were content with each other’s company.


It is not that some men are not in the ‘family way’. Somewhere deep in us, the genes of the lone wolf still pines for its solitude and freedom. I still feel it; the yearning, the strings pulling me away and away, far into the mountains. Lucky are those who haven’t had the dichotomous pull in diverging directions, this strangling, this feeling of never being where you are. It is a summer of discontent. As we drive down to the plains, I am remote.

 ************** BalachandranV, Trivandrum 19.04.2012


  1. Nice to be here after a while Balan sir. Glad you had a good time. You have a beautiful family.

  2. A good summary. Made me smile . You know why!

  3. Thats why Balan sir, for a week each year me and a group of friends Jsut go into the wild .. pack our bags and JUST go and spend time in the wild yeah the lone wolf ..

    GLad you had a good time ..


  4. Balan!
    See, It is not just me who is concerned and longing to know your whereabouts. Anyway, thanks for sharing your precious moments.
    Keep in touch at least through your blogs. You are special.

  5. Great to see the family man.You really need to see the mountains soon .

  6. @NRI girl: Thanks, Hep! Happy that you haven't forgotten me! :-)

    @Aswathi Babu: Great to hear from you too!

    @ANil: Ah, You smiled! I shudder to count the reasons ! :-D

    @ Bikram: The other day I was telling someone about you, how you took a Bullet all the way to England and then rode on to Scotland! Great to learn that you turn'wild' once in a while!

    @Cherian: My friend!!

    @Kavitha: No truer word! Come September, Inshallah, I will.

  7. mr b - late as ever !! i liked the comment on the lone wolf wanting to venture out some time or the other.

  8. Ousu, Check out the Tee shirt; it has our club's logo! ( Silver Bullets)

  9. Aaah the real reason for your absence! Good you had a relaxing time

  10. what a spectacular house that you rented out! i so badly want to go there myself :) glad you enjoyed. K has become as big as you, or bigger :)


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