“through the act of living, the discovery of oneself is made concurrently with the discovery of the world around us. . ."

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

The Climax



Resting her head on his broad chest, the girl wished

It would be forever, how wonderful it’d be

If it were forever, to be with him, to feel his warmth

To listen to his heartbeat; ‘He’s mine!’


‘She sure smells nice’, the boy thought and wondered

About the next step; ‘should I rush it or not’-

Unable to control his arousal,

He was a bit embarrassed but happy –

‘Gently’, he told himself, ‘be deliberate’, but then he was ashamed

And felt guilty, his love and lust tearing him in two.


Pressing herself closer to him

The girl was a bit scared but excited –

‘he loves me, he loves me’, she thought

Triumphant at her new possession, her new puppet.


The boy re-positioned himself, moving to the second stage

As the girl wondered if this is the time to show some reluctance

Would coyness be appropriate or would it kill his passion, she wasn’t sure.


Ah, but man proposes and God disposes – leaning down to a exploratory kiss,

Eyes closed - suddenly the boy shuddered as a wave of nausea hit him

Because the girl, beautiful though she was,

Had forgotten to brush her teeth that morning!

******** Balachandran V , Trivandrum 08.03.2011

8 comments:

  1. This is so funny.... you created an atmosphere of melodrama. I was holding my breath till I read the last word...
    Great !

    ReplyDelete
  2. It was s romantic and then the anti-climax. I just have a thought.

    Your title "The Anticlimax" gives away in the beginning even before the poem is read. The reader expects an anti-climax; also supporting it is the picture right in the beginning before the poem.

    You may want to consider this; give reader the jolt when least expected.

    But even with the surely predictable type of ending; the poem weaves silky passion and romance. You sure must be a die-hard romantic :)

    Talking of anti-climax; I have few anti-climax stories. If you are interested please check them under

    http://spice-n-ice.blogspot.com/search/label/Fiction

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes the picture of Rhett Butler and Scarlet O'hara gave away the anticlimax before the climax.
    Nevertheless I shudder to think of the moment the poor fellow recoiled.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yes the picture of Rhett Butler and Scarlet O'hara gave away the anticlimax before the climax.
    Nevertheless I shudder to think of the moment the poor fellow recoiled.

    ReplyDelete
  5. full of romance and thought
    enjoyed it

    ReplyDelete
  6. That is why they carry breath fresheners these days !

    ReplyDelete
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