It’s night. I am alone in the house, with Sancho sleeping beside me, as usual all fours up in the air. I listen to songs, Hindi, English. ‘Have I told you lately that I love you?’ by Englebert Humperdinck is an old favourite of mine. I switch to Hemant Da. I had taken a CD to my office and while at work, listened to Hemant Da’s Chupa lo yun dil a dozen times, softly coming out the speakers on my table. Lata sings with him – ‘Thumhari charanon ki phool hoon mein - ‘Here, my beloved, I stand before thee, head bow’d. Let me lay myself at thy feet, like flowers…’
Yet, I wonder. Isn’t love a total surrender? Isn’t it the complete discarding of one’s ego for the sake of the other? We have read of Meera and her like, surrendering to God. As a non-believer in God, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Yet, there have been times in my life, troubled times, when I had desperately hoped for a miracle, a power beyond me, who could help me out. Prayers failed to come from my mouth. Even as a child I had wondered, looking at others in temples, praying to God for this and that. I had wondered, if God is the all-knowing one, do you have to tell Him/Her anything?