Thursday, February 25, 2010
The Flower Market
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
The Aquarian
‘I am tired’, thought he, as he poured
‘Where has it all gone, the sweet waters
That glinted silver in the morning sun
That glistened in the pale moon light
That I carried from afar and gave
So that men and beasts and plants
And the dry crumbling earth may thrive
So that life may spark in them
So that Thy creations shall not grieve!’
Wiping sweat off his brow
He paused as he heard a voice.
He raised his head, looked up
As he saw a vision.
Clouds parted before him –
Above, in the sky,
The clouds drew a painting.
Men, the Aquarian saw
Had fouled the waters with filth.
Poisons spread, laying waste the fish
Wetlands were filled with soil
Seas turned red in oil
Trees were felled
Rivers were dammed
Ponds were killed
Birds were dead
Beasts, bloated, floated dead
In the sweet and clear water
That now turned an angry black.
Clouds closed up the sky –
Then a wind blew, howling
And it rained black, red blood.
Beside him kneeled the last child of earth
Huddling, hugging the last green plant.
************* Balachandran V,
This is a 'commissioned' poem. I was asked to give a poem for a magazine's special issue on water. The poem may undergo deletion/alterations , though I submitted it since the deadline had arrived. It is kind of 'contrived' - I don't like it much, myself!
Friday, February 12, 2010
Into every word goes a bit of my soul
The books in my library, those other than I inherited from my late father, bear my signature, date and place where I bought them. It is not, as you may think, a mark of my ownership; it is a sign that each of them contains a bit of my soul. Looking at each of them, I can recollect the moment I saw the book, caressed, smelled it, leafed through and with muc pleasure and excitement paid for and became its happy owner. Similarly, my friends, believe me, into every word that I write here, goes a bit of my soul. Read them together – and what I gift you with is what I can call really my own – my self. Scattered among these virtual pages lies kaleidoscopic Balachandran V. You roll it, shake it, take it to light – you have every right to like or dislike, love or hate me.
I am happy that all of you found my gift of C K Williams most endearing. Reading his poems, I gather an image of C K Williams and am humbled that he let me into his soul.
The other poem that I wanted to share with you is not Shame, but Harm – forgive the vagrant memory of an old man! Again, it is not available in the ‘net – therefore I will type it down here. I hope C K Williams would forgive me for this violation of his copyright etc, but believe me, Mr. Williams, I am paying a tribute to you. I would love to buy copies of your ‘A Dream of Mind’ which has ‘Harm’ in it and give to all my friends, but am too poor to do that. All I can hope and fantasize is that perhaps you might read me one day and think of me as a kindred soul who looks up at you, you, like a bright star in the sky…
There is a reason why I am taking this effort. I want you, my friends, to look beyond the walls that surround us. Beyond the walls lies the vast and eternal ocean of life. It is beautiful, ugly; serene, tempestuous. I would like you to look at life the way C K looks at it – with compassion, with dispassion; with love, with detachment; touched and untouched. If what you see is disquieting, remember that it is only your reaction; reality is real and unchanging. All that changes is your perception of life. In perceiving life, you perceive yourself – that is all life is about – understanding and marveling at the you in you. Do not be judgmental, on you or anybody else. Be open and vast like the skies and the sea and the forests that lead to the edge of the horizon. The void and darkness invariably follows – later.
Harm – by C K Williams
With his shopping car, his bags of booty and his wine, I’d always found him inoffensive.
Every neighbourhood has one or two these days; ours never rants at you at least or begs.
He just forages the trash all day, drinks and sings and shadowboxes,
then at nightfall finds a doorway to make camp, set out his battered little radio and slab of rotting foam.
The other day, though, as I was going by, he stepped abruptly out between parked cars,
Undid his pants, and, not even bothering to squat, sputtered out a noxious, almost liquid stream.
there was that, and that his bony shanks and buttocks were already stained beyond redemption,
That his scarlet testicles were blown up bigger than a bull’s with some sorrowful disease,
and that a slender adolescent girl from down the block happened by right then, and looked,
and looked away, and looked at me, and looked away again, and made me want to say to her,
because I imagined what she must have felt, It’s not like this, really, it’s not this,
but she was gone, so I could think, But isn’t it like this, isn’t this just what it is?
***********************
My most sincere and warm regards to you all. I value you; immeasurably.
Balachandran, Trivandrum, 12.02.2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
C K Williams
On the Metro
by C. K. Williams
On the metro, I have to ask a young woman to move the packages beside her to make room for me;
she’s reading, her foot propped on the seat in front of her, and barely looks up as she pulls them to her.
I sit, take out my own book—Cioran, The Temptation to Exist—and notice her glancing up from hers
to take in the title of mine, and then, as Gombrowicz puts it, she “affirms herself physically,” that is,
becomes present in a way she hadn’t been before: though she hasn’t moved, she’s allowed herself
to come more sharply into focus, be more accessible to my sensual perception, so I can’t help but remark
her strong figure and very tan skin—(how literally golden young women can look at the end of summer.)
She leans back now, and as the train rocks and her arm brushes mine she doesn’t pull it away;
she seems to be allowing our surfaces to unite: the fine hairs on both our forearms, sensitive, alive,
achingly alive, bring news of someone touched, someone sensed, and thus acknowledged, known.
I understand that in no way is she offering more than this, and in truth I have no desire for more,
but it’s still enough for me to be taken by a surge, first of warmth then of something like its opposite:
a memory—a girl I’d mooned for from afar, across the table from me in the library in school now,
our feet I thought touching, touching even again, and then, with all I craved that touch to mean,
my having to realize it wasn’t her flesh my flesh for that gleaming time had pressed, but a table leg.
The young woman today removes her arm now, stands, swaying against the lurch of the slowing train,
and crossing before me brushes my knee and does that thing again, asserts her bodily being again,
(Gombrowicz again), then quickly moves to the door of the car and descends, not once looking back,
(to my relief not looking back), and I allow myself the thought that though I must be to her again
as senseless as that table of my youth, as wooden, as unfeeling, perhaps there was a moment I was not.
******************
The other poem that I wanted to give here was 'The Shame'. However, it is not available in the internet.
I am sure some of you would have read C K Williams; this post is for those who haven't. I hope you will share my enthusiasm for CK.
******** Balachandran Trivandrum 11.02.2010
P S. btw, today is my actual ( read non-official) 52nd birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ME!! :D
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Full Moon and Friends
To get to the sandbar at one end of the reservoir, one has to walk about a kilometer through forests, crossing a stream en route. I had been coming to this place for nearly 25 years. For bird watching at first; then with P for her research work. Last weekend, once again, my old friend Dr Sreenivasan and I went there to camp out in the open under a full moon.
We were much excited this time. One, the full moon; two, Doc’s recently acquired new tarp, which his son’s friend in the States had gifted to him. One of the many passions we shared was sleeping outdoors, with a little fire to warm the body and a little spirit for the spirit. We had another friend with us this time, Gopi, a well-known wildlife photographer, who had chucked his job as Photo Editor in a very popular English Weekly and now freelanced and free rolled in the forests.
********** Balachandran, Trivandrum, 3.02.2010
Photos Copyright: Gopinath Sricandane