“Balachandran has taken a conscious decision to ignore the world around him. He seems to write from an ivory tower where he exists in the company of his emotions, his thoughts.”
As I read these lines aloud, P chuckles. ‘That describes you best!’, she exclaims.
In my room, I switch on the PC and look at the screen blankly; before me the cursor blinks in the beginning of a blank Word page, urging me to write.
Reflecting on my hitherto writings, be it poetry or prose, I realize that most of it have been about myself and my immediate world. Am I being Narcissistic? Am I too self-absorbed as to ignore the rest of the world?
Writing, to me, has always been a journey of self-discovery. The ways of the world are no doubt mysterious and fascinating, but equally so has been myself. I am intrigued by what I am, what I think I am, what the rest of the world think what I am and yet the mystery remains unsolved. The writer in me is the observer, studying myself, my reactions, the way I relate to others, the multiple personalities in me that takes the stage as the demand of the role.
Who am I? Says Ramana Maharishi – ‘What remains when you have negated all that you aren’t is the real you’. It is only through this subtractive process of self-analysis that you can understand what you are.
What P believes is not quite right. In trying to understand myself, I learn about the rest of the world too. The more I learn about myself, I learn that there isn’t much difference between myself and the rest; only subtle shades distinguish each of us. In this journey into the recesses of my mind, I am at times ashamed, at times proud; I regret and rejoice. I accept what I am; I accept what you are and all the rest of the world.
***********
Photo courtesy:
I do not know what to say. The poems tell .
ReplyDeleteCool down,Balachandran.
ReplyDeleteDont you know who you are?
You are one decent guy from Trivandrum,
who happens to be a poet,
and has Kurup as a friend.
Now where is the poem? Last time I visited your page; I saw few lines. I thought of coming back to read it; I dont find it!!!
ReplyDelete@Insignia: On second thoughts, i deleted the review; I think that will be asking too much from the reader!
ReplyDeleteYour writings seem to be interesting! If you notice other bloggers, most of them, including me, write about ourselves a lot, which is human nature.
ReplyDeleteMaybe we feel awkward to talk about ourselves in front of people, so this media - virtual - brings out the nearly 'real' us!
Sorry to kill the mood. A scene from one of the Malayalam movies rushed to my mind, while I read the title.
ReplyDeleteA person asks Mala Aravindan "Who are you?"
Frustrated Mala questions back "You Who?"
Getting back.. well philosophically, nobody knows who they are. But to keep it simple, let's say "You're a good simple human being"
@Sreejith: On the other hand,it really enhanced the mood! :)
ReplyDeleteIn Mala's retort, lies a hidden truth, though unintentional.'You who?' I am who you are! If I know who I am,then I would know who you are! :)
And thanks for the certificate! :D