“through the act of living, the discovery of oneself is made concurrently with the discovery of the world around us. . ."

Friday, August 27, 2010

20th Anniversary

On the day of Onam, Anil had invited the two of us to his house for the feast. The feast (saddya) was secondary to Anil and me; we looked forward to spending some time together and of course, liven it up with a drink or two. P and I had planned to go in the morning itself so that P can assist C and Anil’s mother in cooking.

Then I discovered that my wallet is missing. The eternal scene once again erupted; rummaging, cursing, turning stuff upside down, intense effort to remember where I saw my wallet last. It didn’t turn up. Frantic calls to Credit Card, Debit Card, etc etc. I moan about the old, old 1 rupee, 2 rupees and ten rupees notes I had kept in my old, old wallet, photos of P and K. I curse the curse of old age and sigh. My Onam ruined with a capital R.

Then by 1100 hrs we get to Anil’s place. His first comment – “Well, well, well! Both in matching dresses!” P and I look at each other; I wearing a dark green shirt and the traditional dhothi (Mundu) and P in a traditional Kerala sari with dark green and gold borders and dark green blouse. We look at each other and laugh. It is an oft replayed scene, the coincidences of cohabitation. 21st year running.

Yesterday, the 26th August was our 20th wedding anniversary. Usually I have a nightmare trying to remember it. I get it confused among 20th, 23rd and 26th August. Last year in an effort to ensure that I won’t forget it, I bought a new watch for P and presented it dramatically – on 20th!!

With K away, neither of us was in a mood to celebrate the anniversary. I was not feeling well, so ‘the night in the forest’ idea was dropped. Finally we thought, OK, we will take a photograph and then have a dinner out. Evening came and we were too tired for a photo session. But we went to a quiet restaurant and had dinner together.

Over the ice-cream, I venture into my favourite hobby of mulling over the past. We concluded that our one mistake was that we never planned for the future; like, you know, 5 years hence, 10 years hence, 20 years. We lived as it came, day after day. Didn’t care to save much, had lots of fun. There have been many things we could have done, we should have done but never got around to doing it. There were opportunities missed and gone forever.

Sitting beneath the glass dome painted in beautiful patterns in mauve and red, Parvati and I gaze at each other and smile. Not much of a life, but hell, it had been our life and we haven’t made a big mess of it. A few dents here, a few scratches there, but no major disasters, touch wood, so far. Still there is a lot of affection, love and respect flowing between us. And of course, the comfort of knowing that there is another person around who cares about you.

Back home, with Sancho lying all four feet up between us, we watch something in the TV.

Our life is moving along.

*********** Balachandran V, Trivandrum 27.08.2010

Post Script: My wallet was there in the pocket of my trousers I wore the previous day, right where I had searched a dozen times! J


  1. ha ha ha. true Balan in the wallet incident.
    you both look so charming. we both are so much senior to you both, do you know that? thirty-one years completed in November last!!!

  2. Bals

    "Still there is a lot of affection, love and respect flowing between us....."

    I guess that should keep life comfortably afloat.

  3. Many happy returns. glad the wallet reappeared.

  4. Happy Anniversary ! Both of you look so happy and so much in love .My best wishes and regards to both of you.

    Thank god ,you found your wallet back .

  5. @venu: I know that, grandpa! ;D

    @anil: You have been with us long enough...
    @Prabhakar: Me too! and thanks for the wishes! :)

    @kavitha: Thanks. Relieved I am; just the thought of my wallet in some filthy hands, someone looking at my family's pictures and smirking - and 2000 bucks too!

  6. Balan, you both are absolutely handsome and beautiful people...What a wonderful story/memory that you have so graciously shared with your readers. I, too, am so glad your found your wallet... Lovely write...

  7. Thats a lovely picture Mr.B , both of you make a wonderful couple.

    Here's wishing you lots of happiness and many many anniversaries that you can celebrate with your grandchilren!

  8. Thanks for the compliments, Sandy, P would love it! :)

    These are simple snippets from ordinary lives; like candles, they brightened up our lives for a brief while. I hope they light up yours too... :)

  9. The matching dresses part of it, that happens my husband and me so often...We seen to think and act in synchrony too...Happy Anniversary and Happy Onam!

  10. @Gymnast; Long time, no see! Thanks; and hope to see your posts soon.

    @Nalini: The 'synchronized swimming' is exciting - and at times quite boring too! :)

  11. Nice to see that many years together and you still have the flame burning, brighter perhaps with every passing year. Coordinated outfits happens to me & my hubby too and we realize it only when someone else points it out to us! Glad u found ur wallet. My hubby does that most times...he keeps searching for things, which might be right under his nose, but he would never find it. Even this morning, he was looking for the mobile charger and hasn't found it yet!

  12. Thanks, RGB! WIsh you too a sparkle that would last a lifetime! The 'matching dress' seems to be universal, among loving couples! :)

  13. Belated wishes. I'm back. I don't use a wallet, I never used one. Sometimes I feel like buying one, but this fear lurks in that I'll lose it all. I think the best place to keep money safely is the right side front pocket of a jeans!

  14. belated anniversary greetings.

    must have been quite a pain waiting for the credit cards issued again.

    i always wonder how we survived without 15 years back!

  15. Hi..

    Meeting you for the first time..

    Wishing you both a happy wedding anniversary...

    Also praying for many more years to come..

  16. Belated anniversary greetings to both of you. Such a lovely photo! The post is really sweet. Wish you many more anniversaries together!

  17. ha that P.S made me let a sigh of relief. and congratulations on the 20th!!wishing you happier days ahead :)

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